How often didn’t I think, why do women dress like this when pregnant and postpartum? Why do they stop caring for their looks?
Society puts so much emphasis on women’s bodies, and sometimes I wonder if pregnant and postpartum women just want to hide away from being seen and judged. Hide away under large sweatshirts and pregnancy kilos, as a protective envelope.
I’m sad about this hiding, which women end up or put themselves into. It’s leading to personal dissatisfaction, relationship issues with their partner, due to feeling less attractive and there with loosing sex appeal, and reduced sexual desire. When women’s libido drops, their focus primarily targeted to their child, partners often feel excluded, frustrated, and seek pleasure elsewhere. A partner engages in an affair. Nobody is to blame here, it’s only a common pattern, unfortunately happening more often then needed.
Women way too often focus on everyone and everything else, but themselves. Then they feel dissatisfied and completely out of balance. They lack me-time, time dedicated to personal hobbies, friends, their career. Too often this lack of focus elsewhere, but predominantly focussing on the nuclear family, results in maternal gate keeping and its consequences of a frustrated, angry, and at times even violent partner, who feels excluded.
Small adjustments can make a huge difference:
A) Take out time for yourself (i.e. a date night by yourself, a 40min run, a 30min massage, a swim in the lake and a coffee after that, an apéro with a friend, anything you love to do all by yourself).
B) Be confident in your body. Take out the essential time to exercise. Especially, after having a baby, exercise is vital and a welcome escape from the new and intense routines. It’s the best self-confidence, mood, and health booster! So go out and run, yoga, swim, bike mm.
C) Feel empowered in your clothes, rather than hide away under large oversized clothes (PS: I’m a huge fan of oversized clothes, as long as they’re oversized on my body and I don’t need to buy oversize because I can’t fit in regular clothes!).
D) Stay firm to your decisions. Don’t second guess or let yourself be influenced by others and others comments. You know yourself best. Believe in yourself!
E) Wear the style YOU love! Don’t let others influence you by what they would wear!